The Brighter Side of Indecent Exposure

This installment to the Gen Y Founder Diaries is obviously going to be a tad different and I’d like to give you a heads up.

It involves indecent exposure.

Ever have those dreams where you are at school naked or in front of all your peers in pyjamas? I have those often – those moments you wished  never happened. Memories you’d travel back in time for so you could fix things and change history. Well, wake up Michael J Fox, you are not in a time machine!

Let me set the scene. It’s a hot Perth summer and we rally my family and my husband’s to the water park for his birthday. And I mean all of the family – nieces and nephews, his parents (whom I had only met one time before) and his siblings, my siblings – MY WHOLE FAMILY!  I obviously thought that fluffy triangle bikinis were cool in 2002 so this was my choice of swimwear.

While the family sat at the bottom of one of the waterslides, Steve (my husband) and I took the double tube option and went down the darkened slide together. Apparently they could hear the screams for what felt like an hour as I slid down this pitch black tunnel of terror, water splashing in my face so I couldn’t see even when I hit the water. I went under, and surfaced seconds later, thinking I was doing the graceful approach emerging out of the water, long blonde hair slicking back and my legs slowly making their presence up the steps like a Baywatch babe.

The reality was a little different. I splashed down so hard, water shot up my nose giving me a head rush, making me feel like I had just contracted amoebic meningitis (something my mum would remind me of every time I swallowed an abundance of chlorinated water), surfacing with long blonde hair covering my eyes and entire face. I finally emerge from the water laughing uncontrollably while coughing and snot running down my nose when I see sister-in-law waving her arms and pointing to my bikini top from a distance. I turn to the left and the family are shocked, I turn to the right and the water park workers and kids are laughing. I felt like time stood still and it was all happening in slow motion. As I pull the wet hair off my face I look down only to find my fluffy triangle bikini had descended from its ‘place’ and had moved to either side of my under arms. It was like I had fluffy blue under arm hair.

I was stripped! Humiliated! Mortified!

And my only reaction was to squeal loudly drawing even more attention to my mosquito bites which were flying free and exposed. I drop back down into the water while I put my bikini top back into place, hoping the water would hide my exposed self.  I make my way out of the pool and act like nothing happened, while an uproar of laughter follows me and my bright red aura. I have had roughly twelve occasions similar to this that I was going to indulge into, but it seems that this particular one had quite an impact on me.

People sometimes hide from these moments, but they are what makes us real. Celebrities fall over, flash their Britney’s and get caught out in the most awkward positions. They’re only human. Always look on the bright side of life, laugh at yourself, crack a joke and don’t take things too seriously.

If embarrassing moments didn’t happen in our lives, we would have nothing to talk about.

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Photo: Steven Cousins / Wherethestyledthingsare Blog

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Adelle Cousins

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