If we really want to achieve something, then why don’t we just get on with it? Usually, it’s all about fear. Fear of hard work, fear of change, fear that we can’t do it, fear that we will succeed, but most of all, fear of what others will say about us.
So you have set some goals for 2014? Congratulations! That’s the first step in achieving something great.
If your resolutions for the New Year are still just resolutions, then take a look at our article on How to turn New Year resolutions into reality.
Many of us have dreams, goals, things we want to accomplish. Unfortunately for most people, their dreams only ever remain that — a dream or a wish.
Why is that?
Imagine what our world would be like if we all went about achieving what we were truly capable of. Seriously… take and minute and think of all the unlocked potential in the world (or at least in your immediate circle).
At some stage in your life, you have probably had things you wanted to achieve. You may have even set SMART goals and really believed that you could achieve them. You may have even started taking action towards your goals — and then one day, everything changed, and you just gave up.
And so, your goals and dreams are still sitting on the shelf, unfulfilled.
If we really want to achieve something, then why don’t we just get on with it?
Usually, it’s all about fear. Fear of hard work, fear of change, fear that we can’t do it, fear that we will be successful, but most of all, fear of what others will say about us.
After all, what do most of us do to people who succeed? We cut them down or belittle them, rather than congratulate them.
What could they possibly be doing that’s legal, to be earning that much money?
Who wants to be that obsessed with exercise and eating for the rest of their lives?
Who do they think they are, boasting about their new house?
They must have stood on a lot of people’s toes to get that promotion.
So we are left feeling scared of being different to everyone else. After all, we don’t want people saying negative things about us.
But what if things were different? What if we surrounded ourselves with people who cheered us on instead of stole our dreams?
Even better — what if we supported others in their dreams and goals, instead of pulling them down?
Because by doing just that, you will take yourself closer to your own goals.
Yes, that’s right. Building people up and helping them achieve their goals, will actually make it easier for you to achieve yours!
How does that work? Well we need to delve into a little psychology for a bit.
Jim Rohn, a famous American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker was famous for many quotes on success. One of them is this:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
That means, if the five people closest to you are on board with your goals and supporting you, then you are more likely to achieve your goals.
Conversely, if you spend time with negative people who put you down, ridicule your goals and sabotage you, then it is a lot harder to be successful.
So the key then, is to surround yourself with people who have similar goals to yours, and get them to support and encourage you.
But how do you get them to support you?
By being an encourager yourself.
Think about it for a minute. If someone with similar goals to you is cheering you on, supporting you through thick and thin, are there for you to debrief with, are there to celebrate your success and are there to encourage you when things get rough, how are you likely to interact with them?
That’s right. You are more likely to want to return the love.
So rather than wait for people to encourage you, go out there and be an encourager yourself.
Here is an example of what I am talking about.
For the past 12 months, I have been part of an online group who all share similar goals — we want to be fitter, stronger, faster and healthier. We are all at different stages of our journey and all have different hurdles to overcome. However, the amazing thing is, we celebrate each other’s successes. We encourage each other when the task seems too difficult, and we ask for (and give) advice when needed.
I am continually amazed at the genuine enthusiasm, encouragement, care (and dare I say it), love that exudes from this group.
The most amazing part about it, is that most of us have never even met each other!
What this group has shown me is that by building others up, we actually build ourselves up.
Being full of encouragement, praise and genuine happiness for someone achieving their goals can help inspire you and increase your own motivation to chase your own goals. Seeing other people succeed, and having them support you makes the hard times that little bit easier.
Unfortunately, many of us don’t realise this. And instead of being happy for someone’s success, we feel that little green monster called jealousy start to make its way into our thoughts.
Not all achievements come easy. Some take years and years of hard-work, commitment and dedication. Certainly, amongst our online group there has been a lot of blood, sweat and tears (literally)!
However, when we all act as dream weavers— when we encourage each other, celebrate our successes, use other peoples’ achievements as motivation rather than a point of jealousy — we all achieve success in a way that is not possible on our own.
Being a dream weaver can help you stay focused on your goals and can help you not to worry so much about what others may think.
Being a dream weaver rather than a dream stealer brings positivity to your life, helps you attach meaning to your goals, and frees you up to go forth and chase your dreams.
Most importantly, supporting other people in the pursuit of their dreams and goals will lead to others supporting your dreams and goals. These will be people, who understand what you are trying to achieve and realise the hard work required to get there.
When a group of people support one another, laugh with each other, encourage and praise each other, they can unlock so much more potential. As a group of dream-weavers, we achieve so much more than we would individually. As a group, we have a power that is not accessible by going solo.
Being jealous of other people’s success does none of that.
Cutting down other people’s dreams does not build you up.
Ridiculing others for wanting something does nothing to move you closer to your own goals.
The take-home message is this: you won’t find people to support your dreams, if you are busy stealing the dreams of others.
Supporting and encouraging others in their dreams, whatever they may be, opens your mind to more possibilities, more opportunities and more creative ways to make your dreams come true. It also opens your heart a little, so others can be there for you.
So what are you? A dream weaver, or a dream stealer?